I'm starting this blog to document the situation associated with the death of my brother, Wilson, sometime between August 27 and Sept 10.
On Saturday, Sept 10, 2016 at about 2:30PM I was preparing to load my husband's truck with all the stuff for Wellfleet where were going on vacation first thing Sunday morning, following a wedding reception in Rhode Island Saturday evening. The phone rang and it was my father who said 'Wilson is dead' to which I replied, What? Oh my God, no no no!
What happened?
All we knew at that point was he was found dead apparently after some time.
What we later learned was that something had come through the downstairs neighbor's ceiling alerting them to a problem.... and investigation (by police? fire department? not sure) led to finding Wilson's remains. The people downstairs had to move out.
My father was being asked to sign some kind of authorization for the cleanup process which was going to begin immediately if not sooner. After receiving the documents, it appeared they were indicating that my father or his insurance company was financially responsible for the cleanup! This wasn't what he was expecting as it seems the property owners' or condo insurance is responsible.
So he didn't send back the documents.
More details emerged that apparently the insurance policy had lapsed.... and the last covered date was Sept 9... one day before they found him!
So, not much of the above was known when I got the first call. We did know that he must have been dead for some time for the 'health emergency' to be 'declared' (I don't know if that was a formal thing but that first day there was a lot of talk about the emergency nature of the situation). We learned later from my other brother that his last post to Facebook was Aug 27.
So I had to look away from the new dress and shoes.... a lot harder to look away from the silver pedicure I'd just gotten. Put aside thoughts of how I was going to do my hair, and figure out how to tell my friend that could not attend her wedding reception, without actually telling her and ruining her night, although my not being there would be a blow.
I ended up calling the country club where the reception was and telling them to give her a message that I 'unavoidably unable to attend' and felt terrible not giving any details but thought it too cruel provide any.
So I talked to my Dad several times Saturday and decided to go to Wellfleet with my car in case I had to go help him.
It was a strange time.
I talked to my brother, David, while driving to Wellfleet and then again on Tuesday. I've only had email contact since then.
I went with Dad on Wed. afternoon to a lawyer who is taking care of getting him appointed executor. He's in the same office as Ted, who lives across the street which is comforting.
Before that, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday started with coffee in bed, maybe reading an online newspaper, or email or researching all kinds of horrid things, then the phone would ring starting at 8:30. I'd talk to Dad about whatever the crisis was....
- the social security number was wrong... after a trip to their office, it was right!
- they HAD to clean up NOW. They stopped cleanup because Dad didn't sign. They started again.... or did they?
- insurance, or not?
- the death certificate was ready; not it wasn't; yes it was
- everything in the apartment had to be destroyed; maybe a few things could be saved; maybe quite a bit could be saved
- the police put all of the accumulated mail in the contaminated apartment!
- Wil's friend Chris was determined to maximize the possibility of salvage of some stuff
I'd talk to him up to 5 or more times a day. He'd hang up each time another call came in. Things were happening fast and furious.
In between I kept my beach friend, Linda, up to date, processing my feelings as I went. She was a great person to have there listening. Got in swimming with her a few times. A few other times without her. It seemed the tide and the wind and the water temp. were often at odds for perfect swimming, but Friday was gorgeous. I stayed in for well over an hour.
We only got out one day. Went to Fort Hill and walked. We walked on the beach one day. We ate one meal out almost every day. Bookstore 3 times, Lighthouse 3 times. Fried Chicken once.
So it was nice being there but a much different experience than usual to say the least.
By the time I got back from Wellfleet, Wilson's remains had been cremated and were at the funeral home. Dad had picked up copies of the death certificate.
We still don't know if any of his possessions are salvageable.
We still don't know about insurance.
We are still trying to plan the service/memorial/celebration of life.
My 25th Anniversary Party has been postponed, hopefully until after the memorial. But I decided to have the family over on the 24th as scheduled.
Maybe it will only be 10 people but it could be 30... or more? Time to start thinking about that.
Putting away all the silver things I prepared... until later.
Still planning the anniversary dinner.... maybe I'll wear the dress I was going to wear to Missy's party.
Now it is Sunday, Sept 18. More than a week has passed. I'll continue in the next post.
